Blog Against Homophobia, Day Two!

Day two of the Hop Against Homophobia!  If you haven’t already, be sure to leave a comment below with an email address where I can contact you if you win the prize (your choice of one of my Dreamspinner Press titles, including the upcoming “The Trust“).

Today, I thought I’d share an amazing and heart-warming story I read in our Raleigh, North Carolina paper, The News and Observer.  Diane Daniel was together with her husband, Wessel, for two years before they got married.  But barely two months after they married, Wessell confided to Diane that he wanted to be Diane’s wife, not her husband. 

How would you react to something like that?  I’d love to say I would be completely fine with it, supportive, and not feel as though it was somehow my fault that my husband wanted to become a woman.  But that’d be a lie.  Diane, naturally, felt terrible.  Sad, guilty, angry — all the things you might imagine.  And then, as she describes it, she “opened her heart” to the man who would later become a woman.

Diane and Lina are still together, seven years later, now a same-sex couple.  This story just amazed and touched me, and made me consider how, even though we may think we are open-minded and loving, it takes true strength to confront the hidden prejudices and fears that live within each of us.

Please check out the wonderful story from the N&O:  http://www.newsobserver.com/2012/02/12/1844950/losing-him-loving-her.html  And spread the word.  Hearts can open, mindsets can be changed.  It just takes one person to turn another person’s heart. -Shira

15 Comments

  1. msculp01 says:

    The question I have is – are they legally married? They were when he was Wessel, but when she became Lina, did that nullify their marriage (in the state’s view)? But if they are still considered legally married, then does that mean the law is okay for some but not for others? I’m sure they have come against this issue (tax time has come and gone, after all), but it would be interesting to see how that end of it played out.

    • It all depends on if Lina’s gender is changed as well. There are some states that require that if the transgender person is married that they must get a divorce before their gender marker can be changed. If Lina’s name was legally changed as well as her gender marker, here in the U.S. it’s a good chance that their marriage is either considered null and void or they had to divorce. But it all depends on the state and if Lina had her gender marker changed as well as what state they live in.

      • I should know the law on this in NC, Vic, but I have to admit I don’t. It also may depend upon where they were married. But if they’re forced to divorce, or their marriage is void, it’s all that much more poignant. Definitely time to change, isn’t it! -S

  2. That’s a very good question! I honestly don’t know, now that the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage passed. That amendment goes well beyond just prohibiting same sex marriage, but discriminates against hetero couples who aren’t married, for example. I’d love to see a follow up story in light of the amendment’s passage. -S

  3. Cherie Noel says:

    What a heart warming post! Thanks for sharing this, Shira.

  4. I followed this link from deviantart. Living in Europe, I don’t know much about how things are going in the USA but it shocked me greatly what I read. I never thought they’d go as far as banning marriage between same sex *dissapointed* Well I think Diane must have been shocked as hell at first because she knew Wessel for quite some time and even married him, still hadn’t suspected something like this. But they remained together which means their love was true and they fighted for their happiness which they deserve. I think Dianne had difficulties accepting this but she chose being with her partner, not considering their sex, instead of living a seperated, empty life without them. And that’s beautiful! Just think of her courage.
    PS Sorry for all this babbling :S

    • I think some European countries are light years ahead of us, Satsu! Although I just wrote a story that takes place in Italy, and gay marriage is NOT legal there. But other countries are much more progressive that the US.

      I’m so glad you enjoyed Diane and her partner’s story – it really makes you think, doesn’t it, about why we need to love and be loved! Thanks for stopping by. -S

  5. Trix says:

    It’s nice to read a heartwarming story like this. There’s hope!

  6. Foretta says:

    I showed a bunch of these post to the teens in my family to show them how hurt some “innocent” remarks are to many others. I get so annoyed when my nephew says “you’re so gay”. ERRRR drove me crazy. I know he didn’t mean anything by it but it is so wrong to use that as a saying. I think that these post have helped. Thank you all for sharing with us!
    forettarose@yahoo.com

  7. yganoe says:

    Thanks for the wonderful post.
    Yvette
    yratpatrol@aol.com

  8. To be honest I am not sure how I would react – though I am under the belief that love is love no matter what package it comes in even if the outside does change the inside is still the same caring person they have always been. I have had crushes on both sexes so I honestly don’t think I would mind.

    normanielsen@bigpond.com

  9. Joan says:

    I don’t know if I would be able to stay with my partner after sex change so it’s really an admirable story. On the other hand I read about a gay-for-you in m/m romances without blinking the eye, so why can I accept the girl-for-you? I don’t know. Maybe some ideas just require us getting used to them.

    Joan
    0401romance(at)gmail(dot)com

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